It is 8.45am Tuesday morning and I am sitting in traffic on the way to work, and have been for the last 40 minutes. Sitting back I think to myself..”Man, 48 hours ago I was sitting back, looking out across perfect impossibles and 
a bintang…” The rude shock of reality. At that moment I realised that the very fact that I could do that with my beautiful family was becasuse I make the descision each morning to get up and do the have to’s in life. It does not make it any more glamorous, but it does allow it to make some sense in this life.
It is that age old saying , and the one I am sure we all debated in the debating team at school ” the en justifies the means” So we debate once again…..Does it really ??
In world word two, we sent over 1 millions of our bright, young lights into battle and over 26,976 of them never returned home to there Mothers, Fathers, Wives, Husbands and children. How can the end possibly justify those means, those tears, that pain. Especially when we really have not concept of what the actual end is, because it is beyond our conception.
I get it when I give Jesse time out. I get that sometimes, we have to do the unpleasant in order to teach those key lessons in life to the ones we have been given. Those lessons of cause and effect. Those lessons of respect, love, grace, obedience, responsibility. I get now that we need to do the “have to’s” to be able to enjoy the “want to’s”.
I had the very pleasant experience this morning of my oldest hanging up the phone on me. He called from his Mum’s wanting me to bring over a particular car that he was missing. As hard as it was, I had to explain to him, that I gave him the opportunity to choose what he wanted to take and he had chosen. Kind of hard for a 6 year old to understand, but it is a lesson that needs to be learned I felt. To be careful with your choices and when you make them…..stick to them.
We tell ourselves that the means justifies the end, we hope that is does, we pray that it does. I struggle each and every day with getting my means right, so I can get my end right. Although then I sit back and remember a wise man once said “When I am weak, He is strong” and it causes me to engage my faith. To lean and not push. To try to rest and not struggle.
To stretch out those wings I call my faith, although they my feel like hummingbird wings sometimes (lots of flapping and no movement).
I whisper to myself sometimes, when all my beautiful ones are asleep “Rise up, rise up…mount up on those wings you know you have….Get back to that place Morgan where you stand no matter what the waves and wind look like..”
I want to give my Wife and boys a great life, I want to live the life of a man who loves the ocean, I want to be a man who walks with God. I know this, so when I sit there at 8.45 in the morning, it can make some sense. When I have those moments with my boys I can know / hope all will work out.
With the joy set before Him he endured the cross……
PM
