A good time away…I needed it. I have come to the point where ministry is really nota great driving passion for me. I know that sounds strange to y
ou. To me it doesn’t. In the last 6 months I have had all the romance, that I envisioned in ministry beaten out of me. This evening I am just a weak and troubled man, desparated to do something great for my Lord.
Vision is my driving force, not ministry. I dream every night and day of what will be. Feilds of young people, music pouring out across them reaching deep within there hearts and the great message of salvation bellowing over there heads. Piercing there hearts. Thousands of people. I see sick people healed, cripples walk. I see hundreds kneeling under the power of God. Staring in awe of the Lord that Collosions speaks about in it first chapter and then after.
Christ walking amoungst his brothers and sisters. I weep. I hunger for this to happen now…but it doesn’t. Many things in the kingdom I just dont get.
Why, when youth as an ally, passion as fuel and unquenchable vision as a driving force does He hold us back. My mind goes to a stallion in the stalls before a race. Flaring his nostils and stamping his feet, ready to go…now. Muscles tense, already in his mind running down the track, yet he finds himself constained by a higher force.
A great part of me wants to go, a great part of me wants to stay. I need to get a deep revelation that I am sent by God and that no matter what goes down, He who sent me will back me up. So as I stumble towards success, I thank God for his grace.
I was such a frothing spiro back then haha.
I love being a father. I consider myself more blessed as a Dad, than ever before.
PS - Not quite sure but have commando on with arnie. He just jumped through a glass door, when i am pretty sure it was unlocked.
